About Therapy

 

“If the only tool you have is a hammer, you tend to see every problem as a nail.” – Abraham Maslow

If you’re reading this, then you are serious about making changes to your life.  Good therapy can help you make meaningful and lasting transformations.  The Greek poet Archilochus has a saying: “We don’t rise to the level of our expectations, we fall to the level of our training.”  Therapy can be a training ground for learning new ways of interacting with yourself, others, thoughts, and emotions.

Below are some situations that commonly lead people to consider therapy:

  • When you find yourself spending a good deal of your time feeling sad, angry, anxious or lonely
  • When you notice yourself coming up against the same patterns, over and over again
  • When you’re going through a significant transition (marriage, divorce, new child, new career)
  • When you’re looking to find new direction and meaning in your life
  • When you’re struggling to find a life partner, feeling discouraged, or losing hope
  • When you’re feeling lonely and disconnected in your significant relationship
  • When you’re grieving the loss of a partner, friend, or family member
  • When you’re struggling with your career, your work relationships, or with questions about vocation

If any of these, or similar issue, are ones you are looking to address, we will meet, talk about them, and then start to identify steps, plans, and tools to address these painful experiences.

A good experience in therapy will stay with you for the rest of your life.

To make an appointment, you can click here or call (510) 761-6707

 

How to Choose a Therapist…

“The secret to change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new.” – Dan Millman

When you are looking for a therapist it is ok to be choosy.

You can call and talk to a few therapist (2-3, or more) over the phone, or go have one session with them to get an impression of what they are like.  Therapy is a unique and important relationship, and finding a good fit can pay off in the long run.

What is a good fit? Usually you “just know,” but here are some signs of it:

  • You get a sense that the therapist “gets me and what I am dealing with.” (you feel understood)
  • You leave the session feeling hopeful.
  • You find yourself thinking things like “This person is really good… S/he can help me…” 
  • You actually want to go back

If you leave your first session with these sorts of feelings, you’ve probably found a good match — at least one that’s worth pursuing further.

If you leave your first session thinking “Well, I guess that person was OK… And s/he came recommended, but…”— then you should probably move on.

Too many people stay with the first therapist they meet even when it isn’t a good match. They have little else to compare with, so they assume this is just how therapy is. But finding a therapist you feel good about can take time and a little bit of effort.

Therapists are all different. Very different. Some say very little; others talk a great deal. Some ask many questions; others mostly make observations. Some suggest exercises and homework; others won’t suggest anything. Some use only one approach, others use many. 

Many of us — regardless of our credentials or background or good intentions — just won’t be a good fit. The key is finding someone you respect, connect with, experience as caring, and actually want to work with. This may seem daunting, but it’s worth it. Experiencing good therapy — with a therapist who’s a good match for you — will change your life.